BE the person you want to attract.

BE the person you want to attract. 

-Dating in 2013

Written By Khalilah-Yasmin

dopamine /do·pa·mine/ (-mēn)

  1. 1.    a catecholamine formed in the body by the decarboxylation of dopa; it is an intermediate product in the synthesis of norepinephrine, and acts as a neurotransmitter in the central nervous system
  2. 2.    floods the brain when a human falls in love and becomes activated during drug addictions


It almost seems as if a commitment is harder to find in the current circumstances. Our generation is less likely to commit and more likely to want ‘options’. And to be honest, as long as you allow yourself to be an option, that is what you will be. Sure, there are young couples openly committed and in love. What’s their secret?  How did they find one another?  It’s not about simply choosing something that is good. Choose someone good FOR you.

The songs, films, and images in the ‘microwave era’ are proof that we want it fast, easy, and with no strings attached. But where is the love?  Where is the foundation?  It IS possible to find ONE person that is a combination of our ‘all of the above’. Unrealistic expectations and settling are two different dynamics. If you want a partner who is not promiscuous yet you are, where is the sense in that?  Desiring a financially stable mate when you’re living paycheck to paycheck without a plan?  You need to be the person that you want to attract. That doesn’t just mean temporarily or long enough to lure someone into your masquerade ball and then “Surprise! Gotcha. You’re in love with an asshole now with no morals.” Don’t be that person. I dated him. Or her…


“To each’s own,” as they say. If you want to play the field, play the field. Have a catcher’s mitt on both hands if you wish. If you’re an Obama supporter you see what genuine love looks like. It supports, educates, and empowers. It’s not a death sentence. Today’s generation has it backwards.

There are all these rules in finding or keeping the person you want. You wonder if you should text or call.  You worry that you’re calling too much or not enough. Wonder if you should put out on the first date or the 15th date.  How honest should you be about your past? The best way to find the best person for you is to expose yourself AS yourself. Yet by all means, if you want a person with certain values and beliefs, that should also be you.


Happy Dating!