“Happily Apathetically Ever After”

“Happily Apathetically Ever After”
Written By Khalilah-Yasmin © 2011
http://KhalilahYasmin.com

Open your chest to kiss you on your heart,
Open your brain to place myself in your thought.
Open my hands to ensure you safe landing
Open my arms to place you in, above, and under my standing.

Open my legs to give you the highest form of pleasure found on this planet,
Open my body to allow you to consume it, until we can no longer stand it.

Irony; when in the absence of reason can be a bitch,
With certainty aware I do not deserve this.

Open my hands to ensure you safe landing
Open my arms to place you in, above, and under my standing.

Apathetically jaded, in the absence of reason,
Emotionally masturbated to keep from joy’s grieving.
Leaving my heart in a place even I cannot find it,
Perhaps this time will keep Satan from attempting to blind it.
I was ready to love you even though I was afraid. I really wish you would have stayed.
You gave love and attention you paid. Forehead kisses and hugs gone away.
But hey, I didn’t have you anyway. In the seventh hour I gave my love to you.
I allowed your wings to pierce through my skin and within my hole you flew.
I was a fool in the seventh hour as I let you place your body inside of mine.

The numbing sensation over my whole body ensures this will be my last time.

Open my legs to give you the highest form of pleasure found on this planet,
Open my body to allow you to consume it, until we can no longer stand it.

Foolish I was as I envisioned you were the exception.
Now afraid of myself for I was the hand of my heart’s deception.
I held the gate open, I let the thief in. I am capable of doing it again. Or am I?
Have I yet become jaded? Jaded enough that I can say that love is apathetically hated?

Do I want a callus where my heart used to be, or still crave love in some form molded for me.
My fear is that one day I will wake up and the once hidden scars will be surfaced for all to see.

Open your chest to kiss you on your heart,
Open your brain to place myself in your thought.

The love of family, friends, and strangers, chased now eludes me,
Even those of blood would rather confuse than consume me.

Apathetically jaded, because there’s a hole in my chest cavity where wind now blows,
Opened metaphorically transformed, and now I am CLOSED

2 comments on ““Happily Apathetically Ever After”

  1. Khalilah, I have no words. Except – beautiful and so wise. Thank you for sharing this gift.

  2. GO ON GIRL!

    loveeee the lines
    “Leaving my heart in a place even I cannot find it,
    Perhaps this time will keep Satan from attempting to blind it”

    However, I got caught up on “apathetically jaded/hated”. I’m confused bc to me, apathy is emotionless yet you’re pairing it to describe an emotional adjective. Maybe you mean “apathetic and jaded”? haha Let me know the secret!!

    ps glad that you’re back in the gameeee

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