Psychological Thriller; Untitled Novel

Venting. Writing. Talking to Self Publicly.

Anyone can call themselves a writer. I’m not special in that regard. Just like you reading these words, if you can read, then you can write something with your imagination and that of borrowed muses between this world and the next.

The difference however, I did not choose to be this; it chose me as a child. I began to enjoy it however when I found it to be therapeutic for myself and others. Art is a way to feel something and be opened to other perspectives. I am here to love, to encourage, to inspire, and to create.

Someone asked me recently if I was still writing or if I still wrote anything at all. This person could very well do a google search and find the answer to that information. I guess I’m not really upset with them. I’m upset with myself. Perhaps I haven’t branded myself as effectively as I thought. Perhaps I haven’t jammed what I do down people’s throats enough. I’m just not into choking. Not now anyway.

Unfortunately, most people have a short attention span so I have found ways around that by creating images into minds within the window of time allotted. Observationally, a lot of my audience are those I have attracted through 10 years of social media and the entertainment medium of modeling; which isn’t a bad thing. The paradigm is that ‘model’ is not what I definitively define myself as. We are not defined by what people think we are. We are defined by who WE think we are. But on stages I’ve read poetry. It’s what people have seem MORE of. So it often comes off condescending when I mention writing and someone I respect responds with… “Oh.. another poem?” The chalkboard inside of my mind then shrieks with a million vertical scratches and I envision reaching into their mind and planting a thought with my bare hands onto the bridge of their cerebral cortex so that I don’t have to explain myself.

Because what I hear is… “All you know how to do is construct a 2 minute poem. Novel? Screenplay? You’re a woman. Write a soft emotional punk ass poem.”

So instead of getting upset, I appreciate the challenge. Thank you.

I am an author. I am a poet. I am a story teller.

Is it necessary to explain myself to people who are only looking at the outer layer and double clicking ‘like’ without absorbing my content? Where are those people at? The people that pay attention…

In the wake of putting out my first novel… which will be my 3rd published book when it’s completed, I ask myself these questions and how to properly project who I REALLY am as an author so that I attract who I am supposed to.

Though ashamed of it when I was younger, I’ve been writing since I could form sentences.

There’s always been an allure of the “story’ that can enrapture the reader if the synapses connect.

Because you haven’t seen it yet… or experienced it; whatever “it’ is.. doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist. Limited perspective is finite.

The novel I am writing is an Inspirational yet Psychological Thriller that I have technically been writing for about 8 years. I finally got passed page 100 as I keep rewriting the story as I grow and discover this thing called life. Writing this novel has taken more time than originally anticipated. In addition to telling a captivating story that is relatable, research is key; which requires a lot of reading of other books and specialized journals.

One day while writing in a coffee shop, I accidentally sat beside a 19 year old author who was 50,000 words into his 2nd novel and gave me some excellent advice:

“Compete against yourself. Give yourself a finish line and run towards it. Edit later. Promise yourself 500 words a day, every day… of ANYTHING. Just write.”

Once again, the Universe sends teachers; if you’re paying attention and open to receiving the signs.

Following my psychology degree completion last year, I was struck with an idea that has manifested…

If you’re reading from my website I probably don’t have to say any of this. My ego is writing this as a reminder to self of what is coming.

There is no wonder if I’m writing, if you see me breathing. They depend on the other. If one ceases to exist; so do I.

And if by chance I can create something that will live forever; so will I, so will you, so shall we?

Creatives when faced with obstacles may become more expressive; yet simultaneously feel vulnerable, and also set free.

Author Advantage; We can live vicariously through the characters that we create.

Or we can choose to BECOME one of them…

I’m done talking now. Time to show you.

Innocuously, Khalilah Yasmin

Leave a Reply