KHALILAH YASMIN©

“Dear You”

Dear You,

I cannot pretend you don’t exist now that I know that you do,

The moment you spoke, I lost myself in your YOU…

I cannot show you what you aren’t ready to see,

Cannot make you stop loving her, and start loving me.

I cannot make this make sense to you, or even myself,

But I realized something the moment you left—

You were a stranger that my heart knew so well,

You’re no magician, yet I’m under your spell.

Willing to be everything that you need,

If you take off your blinds and decide to SEE me.

I see you. I see you in perfection flawed in direction.

I see you with my soul, I feel your reflection.

Awed at my capacity and intensity to feel,

Questioning my mind for what my heart knows is real.

If a friend I must be, then that role I will take,

For your absence would cause my heart to break.

As I listen to your heart break, I hear the echo of my own,

For I am now lost, because now mine you own.

My heart merged to yours when you held me so tight,

Afraid, Nervous, and Ashamed to tell you last night.

The moment you spoke, I lost myself in your YOU…

I cannot pretend you don’t exist now that I know that you do,

If I must be a fool, allow this fool to be true,

I can, do, and will be in love with you.

Seems with love I’m always playing tag,

I placed my heart in your carry -on bag.

A friend.

“EKAJ”

Smitten, for he is a poem I have not yet written.

Both of us shy, and sore of lips from being bitten…

He got closer.

I stood contemplating my heart- my keys and letting him in…

A stranger at distance, and a lover to win.

Sin?

I had considered because I want to live in his moment.

His eyes studied mine as he saw that I owned it.

Heartbeat.

Racing as I made the decision to speak,

Walking with strength in my legs though my knees had gone weak…

He blushed red.  I blushed bronze through my brown skin,

Grabbing my key hoping he’d know to come in.

He spoke,

And his voice still rings in my ear…

I took my own dare, and began my own cheer.

Curiosity has gave me birth instead of death,

Foreshadowing the moments we’ll share the same breath.

I reckon, that he felt the exact same flame,

Because his skin felt like fire when he reached and whispered his name.

“Perfection” ©

http://KhalilahYasmin.com

I wanted you to be my canvas,

I breathe art, philosophy, poetically …

And You wanted an ass to kiss, literally…

I want something deeper than something that wants to go deep IN me.
I want a connection, and nothing like what all the other men be
When they want the panties without the romancing,
The grinding without the perpetual dancing.

I want the fairy tale.
And I promise I will get it. I don’t believe in perfection, I believe we can split it.

‘Mr. Right’ may come before I am ready, ‘Mr Right Now’ is wrong-
‘Mr Happy Medium’ can have me.

Allow us to paint together and use one another’s brushes,
I want this to be stronger than any of my crushes

Ive lusted, and promise there’s a difference. To have love in the moment and love thats infinite,
A LIFE WITHIN IT By it I mean the air we breathe within each others kiss.
Upon one another lips not just another ass to kiss..
literally.

Because I see with the eyes that no one else can find,
I see within my soul, a girl like me, she sees with her mind.
While you think I’m blind and dumb witted, I’m paying attention and quick when I spit it
When I’m silent I’m observing the most,
And when Ive seized to exist, I don’t leave a ghost.

I want to be your lover, but your name is not Prince and I am not ‘cuming’
For you to know my screams in your psyche BEFORE I start humming

My theories may chase you away,

and though I don’t plan for forever,

I put a purpose to my today… so if you want to stay…

I’m sure within this subliminal only few will get it.

I don’t believe in perfection… but I believe we can split it.

“Missed” Khalilah-Yasmin
I don’t miss you, I miss who you pretended to be,
and since pretending isn’t real- I miss nothing at all.

I haven’t changed my number,  yet subconsciously wait for your call.

You see, I thought I was a dreamer, until my dream was deferred.
I thought I was a poet, until your presence created my words.

But if that was your representative, imitation of what you knew I wanted to see,
I cannot miss ‘YOU’ and who you pretended to be.

But I miss me.  I miss me before I knew that my dream could exist,
I miss being naive, I miss me being kissed.

A sincere embrace that now has become a mirage,
the colored stain glass now a tainted collage.

I thought I was awake, but I realize it was a dream,
and even in my nightmares I’m forbidden to scream.

My mouth is open, yet silent,

my body shaking like thunder.  Violent-ly…

I don’t miss you…  I guess I miss me.

This is partially inspired by my own life and thoughts. Yet, I had some inspiration from a paper that I am doing for class….

Letters to the World, From the World…
“Let me be ME” © 2009 Khalilah-Yasmin

Yay for gays, piercings, tattoos, interracial love, nudists, universalism, freedom of thought/speech, blood and liberalism.

For being yourself, giving no shit about opinions. For men that love ONE woman, and a woman that loves one man. For he who doesn’t fear being seen holding my hand.

For being disease free and knowing your status, Yay for telling the truth and daring someone to complain about it!

Yay for wearing skulls, bones, and skater shoes, pleasing myself instead of failing at pleasing you.

Dressing how I am, instead of how you think I should be.

Being yourself instead of what the world thinks you could be.

Yay for living life by your own rules. For being true to you and not fussing with fools.

For being born to speak poetically. For leaving you because you rather I speak pathetically. IDIOT.

For having enough esteem to simply do me. For being happy with my eyes instead of what YOU See.

For being called a “Bitch” because my body is sacred, for being called promiscuous if you choose to leave your house naked.

For being an original version of yourself instead of an imitation of the friend-emy. For being motivated by determination instead of fueled by envy.

Yay for you, and being whomever you want to be in this world,
for being a boy, even if you were born a girl.

Yay For being skinny, tall, big, or petite,
for not being jealous of another for how they look or weep.

For comparing yourself to none, but who you were yesterday,
for, …. me, and allowing these words that I say.

for saying NO to oppression, especially that which you do on your own,
for allowing a stranger’s vision to leave your mind blown.

For being fearless, and making them afraid,
for being unique when they call me strange.

For living in the moment, that is fleeting each day,
For being who YOU are, whether you’re happy or gay.

Yay for being able to find a solution or stop complaining.
For seeing the sun in your mind even when it’s raining.

Express and be, who you see yourself as..
Be the moment, and do not let anything pass..

By you, write your own story, live your own tale,
create your own Heaven instead of living in Hell.

Yay for being happy with your got damn self,
to being your own best friend.
Living by this philosophy:
“do you, fuck them, thee end “.

Letters to the World: From the World…

“How to be a bitch”
©Khalilah Yasmin
http://khalilahyasmin.com

You silence me when you think I’ve said too much,
yet I’m a bitch if you reach and I don’t want your touch.
A bitch when I’m honest instead of telling a lie,
I’m typical when I have emotion and start to cry.
I’m too deep because you’re too shallow to understand,
You think I’m strange and failed to realize I don’t give a got damn.
I entered this universe on this trip with one goal this time,
I’m going to live for me, cause my life is MINE.

I’m needy if I show you that I love you too much,
yet I’m a bitch if I scowl because you forced your hand’s touch.

I’m a fag, I’m a dyke, because you don’t see things the same,
you’re a commi, you’re a dick, and you’re all the same.
I’m a freak, if I speak descriptively in erogenous terms,
I’m a prude if I decide that I don’t want your germs.

I’m going to hell because I do not believe in “your” God,
I’m a heathen if I believe in spirituality and think religion is odd.

I’m too sweet when ran over by a certain type of man,
I have class, and I do not want your ring on my hand.
A bitch when I’m honest when you’d rather I lie,
a good girl gone better and I’ll tell you why;

You broke me to the bottom with your ignorance and hate,
I rose a new person, impervious to adversity late.
Ashamed I once was to be considered too strong,
until your words made me weak, and lasted too long.
If strong is a bitch, then that is to you who I will be,
when you see me lifting mountains, and flying freely.

I may not be wealthy, but with much I am rich,
I thank you sincerely for teaching me “HOW- TO- BE -A-BITCH“.

“Thigh Key” © Khalilah-Yasmin

http://KhalilahYasmin.com

Art defined; a skill or experienced evolved trait,

Mastered, appreciated, and well worth the wait.

Caution to your wind, that blew my body and soul beyond my mind,
Liberty and freedom capturing me, a victim, premonition; elusively blind.

The more I resisted, the more I longed to be chased,
Hungry for my own thirst, and the imagining taste,…
Lace, in comparison, is the thrill that you gave me,
Between the intricate fibers, glimpses of skin wanted you to save me…
Take my body as the ocean takes the waves and make me drown,
Desire possessed my every thought calculating your specific shade of brown…

Resisting, in body, and morale that became a religion,
Accepting your taboo with time, and your needle to my incision.
I made the decision, let you be the Master to my puppet,
Erogenous zones anticipating temptations to covet.

I deny, and I love it, for I am succumbing to and becoming the bait,
Releasing my own pleasures in my imagination, to prepare for my fate.
My limbs no longer satisfy me, for I am allured,
Feverishly craving your juice to drink me to cured.

Drawn in by a connection that blind sighted my psyche,
Attempting to silence my thoughts while singing to Lykke.

Stirred with confusion and discontented, afraid of what this might be…
Aroused in intellect, controlling my body as I gave you my thigh key.

You unlocked my mind, so I gave you my treasure,
and since that moment, there has been no greater pleasure.

I made the decision, let you be the Master to my puppet,
Erogenous zones anticipating temptations to covet.
Drawn in by a connection that blind sighted my psyche,
aroused in intellect, body and mind as I gave you my thigh key.

Captured the right victim, whom lusted for the abduction,
For now I am a slave, to the “Art of Seduction” ….

“Fly” © Khalilah-Yasmin
http://khalilahyasmin.com

I just want to be a fly on the wall of your mind
to let you mind f**k me from behind
to read me when I’m unaware
to be blinded yet clearly stare
to touch you without my hands
to be your ocean and you my land-ing destination
enticing me with mental penetration
You; my fantasy and my frustration.
To see you without my eyes,
to be wingless yet filled with butterflies
to hear you without my ears
to taste my wine, with silent cheers.
You, my fantasy and my frustration,
My forbidden and my elation.
I’m enamored and don’t know why,
he stole my wings yet with you I fly.

“Stillness”
©Khalilah-Yasmin
http://khalilahyasmin.com

I don’t want to be your everything.  I just want to be there until she shows up.
I want to, have you, gently, casually, open, AND abrupt.

I want to silence my mind, but it won’t shut up,
I don’t want you forever, just until he shows up.

I don’t want all of your time, just the downtime in between.
Can I?
Come closer to you, to your shade of green.

I don’t want to live in your grass, I just want to lay..
I’m afraid of my words and what else to say.
I don’t want to say too much and scare you away,
but if I don’t say enough, you may not stay.

So keep it a secret, I must, to lose you I fear,
my curiosity obvious, my words sincere.
I want to know you, mentally, physically, sweet and abrupt,
I don’t want to be your everything.  I just want to be there until she shows up.

I look in your eyes, and something is there.
I want to look at least 50 more times, for I think that it’s fair.
To let you run fingers, wet through my hair,
to relax in your lap, to exist in your air.

I care, but I don’t love you.
within my body, I want to shove you,
within my mind, I want to learn your ways,
I don’t want to spend nights, I’d rather spend days.

I want to gaze.. at you.  And your “stillness”.