‘The Friend Zone’, The Benefits, and the line between them; a perspective blog by Khalilah Yasmin

‘The Friend Zone’, The Benefits, and the line between them; a perspective blog by Khalilah Yasmin

Friendship is the Foundation for any Authentic Relationship.

Can the opposite sex be just platonic friends? Friends with Benefits; does it ever work unless those benefits are health and dental?

Friends: Strictly Platonic, Non-Sexual without any hidden agendas


We all have opinions on this topic but the discussion I had last night altered my perspective permanently. I was in discussion with a male whom declared without any doubt that women can be just friends with men, but there is no man that has that same regard for a woman he most likely is attracted to. He stated that a man that is friends with a woman will play the role, hoping the opportunity arises one day that he can sleep with her or have something more. While this conversation was geared towards the male being the ‘actor’ in this instance, it does not say that women do not pretend on occasion as well. The point he made was that women are capable of having platonic feelings with the opposite sex and that men cannot.  An anonymous Twitter follower responded to my post with this: “There often is an unspoken love that is understood yet to never be acted upon”.

Walking along the tightrope called temptation meets with a certain dopamine fix, psychologically that is.

I have platonic ‘friends’ whom I have never been romantically interested in yet I believed held me at the same level until studying some research on the topic and conducting a few experiments since last night.  Have I been naïve this whole time?

How possible is it to graduate from friends, to friends with benefits without someone falling in love and therefore complicating things?  ‘Friends with Benefits’ a tiring charade which means one person is saying “I’m allowing you to use me for sex while I hope that one day you’ll feel the same way I do”. One could say ‘platonic’ friendship is the same way.


In a perfect world, people would skip the bull sh*t and be honest about their intentions from the beginning. Instead there are some that would rather play a role and get upset when their expectations ultimately fail. An honest enemy wins over a fraudulent friend. When people don’t get what they want, often times they become cruel and vindictive to someone whom was kind and sincere.

Want to know if ‘Sally’ or ‘Michael’ is being honest when they say they only want to be your friend?  I dare you to go to your phone right now and send them a text message professing your feelings for them or a desire to engage in intercourse at the next opportunity. A platonic friend without a hidden agenda will politely turn you down.  Hypothetically not maliciously.


I was asked to do this test last night. All my male ‘friends’ failed except one.


BE HONEST. Don’t like the truth? On to the next… ONE(s)

Can You Say He’s Just a FRIEND????

2 comments on “‘The Friend Zone’, The Benefits, and the line between them; a perspective blog by Khalilah Yasmin

  1. Interesting take.. makes me feel either as a freak or a winner as I have had a woman as a friend since I was fourteen and she is the first one to … well let me just say she made me realize men had hormones…. she was a model, and had a TV program in San Diego.. we traveled together.. slept in the same bed and NEVER had sex….she was and still IS my friend..
    But my next point may be unusual… I am in love with a woman I have never met, have come to know through a strange set of circumstances.. write to her every day… firmly believe she reads my blog almost every day… and yet as beautiful and as sexy as she is I am not interested in “hitting” that thing.. and if your wondering.. I am FAR from gay.., married 2 times.. and have 5 DAUGHTERS… and custody of them till they grew up- all but one that is home now… but the point I am making is I would LOVE to spend my life with this woman… I have traveled to over 60 countries and would also love to take her around the world with me and see things most people only dream of…. yes I imagine the sex would be great.. but if there was no sex I would still be in love with this woman.
    So while most men may have failed the test you gave them… maybe it was the statistical sample you have surrounded yourself with.. and if your in Vegas..then you know that is NOT a real honest sampling of men… expand your circle and I hope you find men who are better suited to be real friends with or without benefits.

    I am going to post this on my blog so you knew my web site is really me.. and that my story is as well.

    Craig aka Dr. G (and yes I am a twitter follower of yours as well )

  2. Craig, (Your writing tone reminds me of someone I blocked, but I’ll refer to you by the name you gave me)


    This blog isn’t about me. It’s just a blog enlightening a different perspective. I’m an artist. Anything I choose to share with the public is simply a reflection of my eyes, an echo of my ears, a reverberation of my spirit.

    I observe. I ponder. I research. I write and/or create.
    In regards to my living in Vegas… My friends are amazing! No matter where I go. I have met and experienced INCREDIBLE people here. There’s no gate at the Vegas border that says “Only poor sampling of people”. That’s kind of a negative comment to say about the place I live and love. All my friends are REAL, if I choose to refer to them as that title.

    For the record, my experiences in Vegas have been my most pleasant as I choose to surround myself with only the best kinds of people, no matter my location in this or any universe.

    It’s just a blog.

    Thanks for your feedback anyway…

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